Birds do it! Bees do it! …

In the words of that great theologian Cole Porter, “Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let’s do it. Let’s fall in love!”

Except that’s not all that birds and bees do! Like all of us, they also fight and disagree!

Holly and I fell in love with hummingbirds several years during a vacation in New Mexico. We had stopped at a bird sanctuary and, as we passed through the gate, hundreds of hummingbirds were feeding together, seemingly as one big happy family at triple-decker hummingbird feeders on either side of the pathway.

It was mesmerizing. And, we thought, this is something we could do at home!

So, sure enough, we got hummingbird feeders for here and in the Poconos. And, within a short amount of time, hummingbirds began visiting and drinking from our feeders.

We soon learned, however, that we’d been tricked! Whatever that sanctuary in New Mexico had done to get their birds to feed together in one happy family, we either hadn’t done or their birds were different than ours!

To this day, our sweet, lovely hummingbirds fight—and fight each other—to be the one and only hummingbird to eat from our feeders. Cute or not, no one else need—or dare—apply!

Cole Porter may wish it to be true: “Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let’s do it. Let’s fall in love!”

But if that’s true, so is this! “Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Everybody does it. Everybody fights and disagrees!”

And, because everybody “does it,” a mandatory portion in every constitution in our denomination has rules for dealing with congregational fights and disagreements based on portions of today’s reading from the Gospel of Matthew.

And, while Matthew’s is the only gospel to include this teaching it’s clear that Matthew’s wasn’t the only community struggling to know what to do with interpersonal and inter-congregational conflict and disagreements! 

Paul’s letters, for instance, talk about all sorts of conflicts between people and within communities. The letters of John struggle with it. So do those from Peter! The whole New Testament, in fact, struggles with what to do and how to handle fights, arguments, and disagreements.

And why? Because, “Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it.” Everybody fights and disagrees!

Today’s gospel reading introduces this topic. But it’ll come back to us next week as the story goes on.

So what does Matthew and Jesus teach us about dealing with fights and conflict?

First, to state the obvious—but all too frequently overlooked truth—fights, disagreements, and conflicts are inevitable! 

That’s why Paul’s letters talk about all sorts of conflicts between people and within communities. That’s why the letters of John and Peter struggle with it. In fact, that’s why the whole New Testament struggles with what to do and how to handle fights, arguments, and disagreements. Everybody fights and all communities—Christian or not—struggle what to do about it.

They are, in a word, inevitable! And it’s vital and fundamental that we all recognize this!

I’ve mentioned before that, in my second year at seminary, I worked at a Lutheran Church in Connecticut where one Sunday morning—right before the service began—a fight broke out between the pastor and one of the members of the congregation.

To make a very long story short, the fight and disagreement escalated over the next several weeks and months until the church council took the singular step of excommunicating the entire extended family from the congregation!

The point here is that, as a young twenty-three or -four year old seminarian, I thought congregational life was going to be an oasis and a respite from all of the world’s and the nation’s problems! I thought church would be the one place where we could all live together in peace and harmony. And I remember going to visit my old college chaplain and asking, “What have I gotten myself into? Am I making a huge mistake in wanting to be a pastor?”

Since then, I’ve known any number of people who felt—or expected—the same thing from congregations. They wanted peace and harmony. And when they haven’t gotten it—when disagreements, fights, or conflict erupt—they give up. They go away. They leave.

So, point one. It is essential that we all recognize this! “Birds do it! Bees do it! Even educated fleas do it!” All people, at some time, fight and disagree. Christianity—and Christian churches—cannot insulate you from this! 

But what they can do is this! 

We can we learn to disagree with one another better and with more compassion! We can take our tips from Jesus and the rest of the New Testament.

Our gospel this week describes a process that both Jesus and our own church constitution want us to practice when things get really bad. We’re not to wield power unfairly. We’re to go slowly. We’re to have others on hand to make sure both we and the other are telling the truth and trying to resolve our differences.

Knowing Jesus, it’s no surprise that the goal is reconciliation and peace. Yes, it gives a formal process that can be followed—such as in that church I served during seminary—when the only option is separation or, as we might say today, divorce.

But the goal is always reconciliation and peace!

For much of the summer our epistle on Sunday mornings has been from Paul’s majestic letter to the Romans. This is our next-to-last week with it and it really has a lot to add to today’s discussion!

Pulling no punches, Paul thunders, “the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” He’s going to repeat that in just a minute but, first, he makes sure we understand what he means!

The commandments, he says, “You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet”—all from the Ten Commandments—and any other commandment,” Paul claims, “are summed up in this word, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore,” Paul concludes and repeats, “love is the fulfilling of the law.”

So maybe Cole Porter had it right the first time! While it’s true that everybody—including birds and bees—fight and disagree, we can all listen to St. Paul and aspire and seek to love another!

“Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let’s do it. Let’s fall in love!” In Jesus' name. Amen.